1.) Bobby Goes Nuts 11/11/2001
The episode opens innocently enough with Bobby's girlfriend Connie inviting him over to add some spark to her dying slumber party. But after Bobby's beaten up by a crasher, Hank urges him to enroll in a boxing class at the Y. That class is full, so Bobby enrolls in the next best thing: women's self-defense. There, he quickly masters the technique of targeting an attacker below the belt (while yelling "That's my purse!"). Armed with this training, Bobby makes sure that his next encounter with that crasher has a different outcome. And Hank couldn't be more proud---until he learns the secret of Bobby's success.
2.) Soldier of Misfortune 12/9/2001
Dale is running for re-election as Gun Club president, but his chances seem to be shot when he accidentally discharges his gun. To give Dale his confidence back, Hank pretends to be "Mr. Big," answers Dale's ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine, and assigns Dale to pick up a briefcase. But Dale bungles the job, and nearly gets his friends killed by his opponent at the Gun Club.
3.) Lupe's Revenge 12/12/2001
Peggy takes the school Spanish club on a field trip to Mexico. She mistakes a little Mexican girl, Lupe, for one of her students, and takes her back on the bus with her. When she realizes her mistake, she brings Lupe back to Mexico and is arrested for kidnapping. Meanwhile, Hank finds himself the object of a female cop's affections.
4.) The Father, the Son and J.C. 12/16/2001
When Buck Strickland has to build a house for Habitat for Humanity as part of his community service, Hank does all the work. Buck is so pleased that he promotes Hank to manager, but when Hank tells Buck "I love you," he is demoted back to assistant manager. Cotton becomes jealous that Hank likes Buck better, and Peggy, determined to celebrate Christmas by repairing Hank's relationship with his father, tries to get Hank to tell his father that he loves him. But when the plan backfires, this Christmas problem can only be solved by a carpenter with the initials J.C.: Jimmy Carter.
5.) Father of the Bribe 1/6/2002
Kahn tries to bribe Bobby to break up with Connie. Connie and Bobby decide to pretend to break up so they can get the money. But when Connie's behavior convinces Kahn and Minh that she is depressed without Bobby, they try to push her and Bobby together. And the more they're together, the more they realize how little they have in common.
6.) I'm with Cupid 2/10/2002
Bobby adjusts to his breakup with Connie, until Bill's depressing experiences break his spirit. So Hank sends him to ladies' man Boomhauer.
7.) Torch Song Hillogy 2/17/2002
Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the Olympic torch through Arlen, but it's Hank who wins the honor---and bungles it.
8.) Joust like a Woman 2/24/2002
Peggy stirs up rebellion among female workers at a Renaissance Faire where Hank is trying to land a big account.
9.) The Bluegrass is Always Greener 2/24/2002
Kahn wants Connie to practice classical music so she can become a great concert violinist, but Connie prefers playing bluegrass. Hank and the guys form a band with Connie, the "Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience," and go to Branson, Missouri to participate in a contest. But in his desire to win, Hank pushes Connie to practice and takes all the fun out of playing, just like Kahn did.
10.) The Substitute Spanish Prisoner 3/3/2002
Peggy takes an online I.Q. test sponsored by the "Intelligence Institute of Texas," and is declared a genius. When the head of the Institute, Dr. Vayzosa, offers her a chance to get a PhD for only $900, she uses the family savings to pay for it. When Luanne takes the online I.Q. test and also scores as a genius, Peggy realizes that she has been conned, and she comes up with an elaborate sting to get the money back.
11.) Unfortunate Son 3/10/2002
When Cotton's VFW has to close down due to a shortage of members, Hank tries to get Vietnam vets to join. But the WWII vets and the Vietnam vets hate each other, and when Hank tries to bring them together, he and Cotton wind up getting pursued by kill-crazy Vietnam veterans who are having flashbacks. Meanwhile, Dale gets a falcon that keeps attacking Bill.
12.) Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill 3/17/2002
Unable to find a full-time teaching job, Peggy pretends to be a nun to land a position at a Catholic school, ending her budding career at Strickland Propane.
13.) Tankin' it to the Streets 3/31/2002
After learning the Army used him as a guinea pig for an experimental drug, Bill gets drunk and steals a tank. And it's up to his friends to try to return it.
14.) Of Mice and Little Green Men 4/7/2002
When Hank and Dale find more interest in the activities of the other's son, Dale concludes he's not Joseph's father---and that an alien is.
15.) A Man Without a Country Club 4/14/2002
Kahn covets membership in an all-Asian country club, but it's Hank who's asked to join---as a token white to secure a PGA tournament.
16.) Beer and Loathing 4/14/2002
Peggy gets a job at Alamo Beer, but a clause in her contract prevents her from telling Hank why Texas is completely devoid of the brew for the next 36 hours.
17.) Fun with Jane and Jane 4/21/2002
Peggy encourages lonely Luanne to join a sorority, but the snobbish sorority girls won't have anything to do with her. So Luanne joins Omega House, a sorority where everyone is accepted and everyone is named "Jane," not realizing that it's actually a cult that brainwashes lonely young women. Meanwhile, Buck Strickland tells Hank to kill his emus, but Hank and his friends can't bear to do it.
18.) My Own Private Rodeo 4/28/2002
Dale and Nancy are renewing their marriage vows, and Nancy wants to invite Dale's estranged father, Bug, a rodeo performer. Dale hates his father for making a pass at Nancy on their wedding day, but when Hank goes to see Bug, he discovers that the rodeo is a gay rodeo, and Dale's dad is gay.
19.) Sug Night 5/5/2002
After Hank repairs a propane-powered hot tub for a bikini-clad Nancy Gribble, he starts to have dreams about him and Nancy grilling burgers in the nude. When Peggy finds out, she concludes that Hank is bored with her and that they need to spice up their marriage by going to a nude beach.
20.) Dang Ol' Love 5/5/2002
Bill tries to get the attention of a beautiful jogger, but instead she goes home with Boomhauer. And for the first time in his life, Boomhauer finds himself in love.
21.) Returning Japanese (Part 1 of 2 Season Finale) 5/12/2002
The Hills head to Japan because Cotton wants to apologize for his actions in WWII. The grizzled vet says he plans to address the widow of a soldier he killed. Peggy arranges to cover the visit for the local paper, but the family arrives to find it has become an overblown media event. Cotton admits to Hank that the "widow" was never married, and the "action" did not occur in battle. Meanwhile, back home, Dale and Bill prove themselves dedicated house sitters by dressing up as Hank and Peggy; and Luanne finds a replacement dog when she thinks she has killed Ladybird.
22.) Returning Japanese (Part 2 of 2 Season Finale) 5/12/02
It is revealed that Hank has a long-lost half-brother, who disowns his American relatives. Angered by this, Cotton plans to spit in the face of the Japanese Emperor Akihito at a ceremony honoring WW2 veterans later that night. As the Hill Brothers try to stop their father, they come to realize how much they have in common. Meanwhile, Bobby develops a relationship with his dance partner at the local arcade.